God has popped out of his school room for a ten minutes, and we get a peek inside. What would God learn if he had to go to school like human kids? Well, lucky for us, we did get a look at his classroom.
|This is God's classroom. Here are some of the things he's working on. Those are not |
Hula Hoops crisps there, they are Holy Hoops. God prefers them.
This is another painting in the series "God's Life". I have imagined that God lives as we mortals do, and has all the same rites of passage that we do. In this painting, where we see inside God's classroom, I have given God all the projects, essays, reading material that an up and coming deity would need. His paintings are even displayed on the wall, where he is quite rightly very proud of them. We get to see and admire what he is working on right now.
The God in this series is from the traditional Christian story. This is what I grew up with, and know and love. The Bible, the Christian holy book, is full of wonderful stories, accounts, poetry, miracles and proverbs. It is written in two parts, the Old Testament which deals with the creation of the world, with all Godly stuff before the birth of Jesus, and the New Testament which deals with the birth of Jesus, and of his life, times and death.
I had so much fun creating these witty, silly, happy paintings. I love the idea that God is not an unapproachable entity, existing far away from us, waiting impatiently for us to annoy him so he can smite us and feel he's done a good job. The God of my dreams is in every part of my life, and lives it with me. My God loves a laugh, eats too much and has to sit down a lot. Just like me. So the God in this painting, in all of the God's Life paintings, is quite simply, one of us. Let us begin, let us see what is going on in the divine schoolroom.
Here on the right is what is on God's desk. First, an apple for breaktime. But it is from Eden. The garden of Eden was where the first people God created lived, called Adam and Eve. They were forbidden to eat apples from the tree of knowledge - which was fine until an evil serpent came and tempted Eve to eat the apple. She did so, gave some to Adam and because God knows everything, he knew, got cross and banished them both from the beautiful garden for ever. But God, who already knows everything despite being here in a schoolroom, can eat the apples. Theoretically, he made them in the first place. Also on God's desk is a book he is reading, and seems to have written too. "It's Nice Up Here", an autobiography by God. Chapter one is "A Head For Heights". As many imagine, God lives way above the world, probably, a long way up in space amongst the stars, so he is beginning his story with how he has to have a head for heights. Next to this are some subjects for an essay. Onmi means all, or every. The pun is on God being already all things and everywhere. So omnipresence, omniscience, omnipotency are huge subjects. He is being asked to think about how to fit it all in, and discuss.
1. Thou shalt love me to pieces 2. No photos 3. Be rude about me and I'll hear you 4. One day a week is all about me 5. Thy parents are always right 6. Thou shalt not do any smiting, ever 7. Keep your hands to yourself 8. Thou shalt not nick anything 9. No telling fibs about people 10. Leave your neighbour's stuff alone
and in time would become these, that Moses could take seriously -
1. Thou shalt worship no other god 2. Thou shalt not make any graven images 3. Thou shalt not take the Lord's name in vain 4. Remember the sabbath day to keep it holy 5. Honour thy father and thy mother 6. Thou shalt not kill 7. Thou shalt not commit adultery 8. Thou shalt not steal 9. Thou shalt not tell false witness against thy neighbour 10. Thou shalt not covet thy neighbour's house, wife or possessions.
But there were a few goes to even get the first ten up and running.
So we have in the schoolroom, a first attempt to describe creating the world. It's up on the wall as the "creating the world project" and like the ten commandments, will need some refining and tweaking to make it sound more serious. God's day 1 is about creating light. He has a light bulb and a lightening bolt. For day 2, he made some blue stuff, and added some clouds. This would be the sky.
Great. Going well. Day 3 God experiments and puts hydrogen and oxygen together and
Day 6 is even more exciting, God says he went mad and created people. As an after thought, he gave them some animals to play with, and draws on his project plan an elephant and a cat. Finally, on day 7 God is pooped. He slept late and took the day off. He had created the world, and this was a good time to take a break. This would end up as Sunday, church day, the day Christians dedicate to their spiritual life.
"Infallibility for the Cautious" is probably a self help book. To be infallible means that one is never wrong. Absolute trustworthiness, immune from error and fallacy. God is infallible, and for many centuries the leader of the Catholic Church on earth, the Pope, was considered infallible. It needs a great deal of confidence, and this book for the cautious God is meant to help him to be brilliantly infallible. "Baddies, How to Spot One" is a reference book for the interesting work of spotting good and evil. God has to be on the alert, Baddies can be very clever and convincing, he has to know how to stay one step ahead.
The final book, "3 Into 1 Does Go" reminds God of a central article of faith for Christians. It is an article of faith, because it cannot be explained logically but it is of huge importance. There is only one God, and there is his son Jesus, and what is called the Holy Spirit. It is considered that all three are both three and also all one. All one in God. It is important that God has a book on this because maybe, Jesus and other heavenly bodies will need reminding that it is all perfectly doable.that energy and mass (matter) are interchangeable; they are different forms of the same thing. So here, God says he is the equation. He is the mc2 part, as he is all energy and mass and he thought this was a fun thing to think about. So he doodled it on the school blackboard.
I hope you enjoyed this painting. It is meant to be fun and to cheer us up. I loved painting this, and I painted it at the request of my father who was a very academic, eccentric and creative man. He asked me to do the whole series, coming up with a different room in God's house for each painting. The next one I will write about will be God's kitchen. Of course, there will be apples from the garden of Eden there, but you will have guessed that as God has one here, on his desk, for his breaktime.
God bless, see you again in two weeks.