|Inside this cottage, someone is eating cashew nut butter with a spoon. Cashew nut butter that belongs to someone else. Eating food belonging to other people is becoming a habit.|
It has been a good week and I am much less tired. I have been doing a spot of thinking and this is what I have come up with.
- I am always like this (tired, dispirited, lost, hungry, annoyed, stunned) after a big exhibition. Always.
- The tiredness is not just physical, it is emotional, mental and spiritual. This is true for most of us, it is important. It is also important to know that it is very hard to recognise, and we need to spend time on recognising what is happening.
- If I get too overwhelmed and tired, I talk utter rubbish. Difficult to believe of course, but the proof is in the startled expressions of the people I am talking to, and the way my mother phones and says I need sectioning. Not really, she just says I need some early nights and to get a grip.
- Just because I don't know what I am doing doesn't mean I am not good at it. Whatever it is.
- It takes a long time, and lots of will power, to really stop and recover. Like driving a car very fast and suddenly putting on the brakes, you are no longer driving but the car is still pelting forwards and it all gets very stressful. Stopping the car and making the decision to get out so you are no longer driving and, are no longer in the car, is blindingly obvious after you have done the other braking at top speed thing.
- Life is bigger than you think and surprises are always around the corner, and when you stop and surrender, that surrender is the thing that releases you to recognise those surprises (nice ones in this context) as they saunter round the corner and into your arms.
|Happy times. Lizzie shows how life can be wonderful if you let it|
|There's Gail, there, with a waffle, in the corner|
|Mr Bedford feeling the pain but helped by a Licorice Allsort|